My Natural Hair Journey

Where should I begin…

Growing up, my mother always did my hair. She kept my hair relaxed because it was easier to manage but to me it felt like torture. I hated the whole process; burning pain, itchy scalp, and hours of sitting under a dryer. She always kept my hair in pigtails with lots of bows or ribbons.  My hair seemed to grow so easily, despite relaxing it. It was the longest my hair has probably ever been; at least that was until I decided I wanted to be like the other girls at school who were doing their hair themselves (insert eye roll). I tried to style it like the girls I saw in magazines. I straightened it, wore tight buns, and even learned how to braid my own hair. Through all my efforts, my hair always looked poofy. I can admit it now; I didn’t know what I was doing. My mom really wanted me to get layers, so she took me to Great Clips. I bet you can guess how that went! The lady who cut my hair didn’t seem to know what to do with it. I don’t know if it was the texture or the poofiness but OH MY GOODNESS! It was the worst! I left looking like a poodle!

My hair kept getting shorter and shorter. I swear it would not grow past shoulder length for the longest time. At the end of ninth grade, me and a friend decided we would ditch the relaxers, or the creamy crack as we called it, and go natural. She was biracial and always wanted curly hair. While my mom always told me that I had beautiful waves before she relaxed my hair. So we took the plunge together because we really wanted to know what our natural curl patterns were like. Again, I had no idea what I was doing. All I knew how to do was gel my hair into a bun. I just kept wearing buns but I thought my waves were the cutest.

One day, I was talking to a family member and telling them I was trying to go natural. I remember them saying to me, “ you don’t have the right hair type for that.” Of course I had a normal teenage freak out. What is the right hair type? Is my hair ugly? Will people call me nappy head?…I let those questions play over and over in my head. I didn’t want to go back to school looking crazy, so back to the creamy crack I went.

I continued to get relaxers in college, but somehow my hair was finally growing. Then I caught the haircut bug that was going around. I went to get a haircut and, for some reason, I wanted layers again. BIG MISTAKE! I don’t know what happened with the scissors, but I left with chin length hair. I was overcome with shock when I looked into the mirror. I kept thinking, “My hair is cute but where was the rest of it!” When the stylist asked if I liked it I said, “it looks great!” However on the inside I just wanted to cry! All of the length I gained was gone. It took forever to grow out those layers. I VOWED TO NEVER GET LAYERS AGAIN!…

…and I lived happily ever after…

Just kidding! It took me a long time to get comfortable with my hair. College was the time when I experimented the most. I tried weaves, braids, and even learned to relax my own hair. MISTAKE #2. I only relaxed my hair a few times but I began to notice “stripes” in my hair. Imagine patches of curls that I didn’t quite relax fully. So I literally looked like this:

That is when I decided to ditch the relaxer and go natural for good. My last relaxer was around March 2012 and I never looked back.

I moved to London for my master’s degree after graduating in 2013. It was a fresh start for myself…and my hair. This was also the time when I found the natural hair community on YouTube. Can we talk about addiction for a minute! I was obsessed because there was all of this new information that I didn’t know about hair care. I learned about co-washing, leave-ins and deep conditioning. I watched videos on twist outs and braid outs. I even tried (and failed) at a few styles before I found my groove. I remember the first time I wore a twist-out to class. I received so much positive feedback. For ten minutes before class I heard things like,” I love your curl pattern” and “ how did you get your hair like that?” Girls were literally smelling my hair! It made me think, “ Hey, I can actually do this!” I eventually cut the remaining relaxed ends of my hair in January 2014. That took me back to collarbone length.

Since going completely natural, I’ve tried highlights, dyed my hair jet black, and straightened it a few times. Now that I know how to actually take care of my hair, it has grown to bra strap length (almost mid back length). I’m learning to love and truly embrace my hair. I wouldn’t go back to relaxers for a million dollars!…well medical school is really expensive so I may think about it if the opportunity presents itself.